My parents are on their way back to the States now, and they will be missed on this side of the world. They were an amazing help to us over the past two weeks, not to mention that the boys loved being able to spend time with them all day, every day.

Needless to say, we are thrilled and so grateful for this sweet gift.

Here’s Jack meeting Luke and checking him out…

Getting in lots of snuggle time with Grann and Papa…

Luke LOVES to sleep (no complaints here)…

I think today more than any day, I’ve struggled with the longing to just hold him and be the one who is taking care of him. Seeing him come out of the incubator and getting to hold him is the milestone I am longing for most. The stronger he gets, the more frustrated I get that things still aren’t 100% yet. Still, I know that his progress is laced with blessing and that we have a zillion reasons to give thanks.

One of the head nurses was back from vacation today and heard through the grapevine that my parents were in town from the States. She graciously told me that she’d let them come visit Luke for 5 minutes after visiting hours so they could have a chance to meet him (a big deal, as they are really strict about limiting visitors in the NICU). It was their first glimpse of Luke. Those few minutes were a precious gift!

The doctors are still watching a few things closely and running various tests to figure out how to best help Luke thrive and get better.

We are grateful for so many ways that God has shown us his faithfulness and care during these days. My (Sarah) parents are here, which has been a huge help with Jack as we have been spending lots of time at the hospital. Right now, only Jerry and I can visit Luke, so we look forward to the day when we can bring him home and everyone can meet him. Thanks for your continued prayers for Luke and for us.

The actual birth itself went fairly quickly, for which I am thankful. I never thought of myself as the screaming type, but I’m pretty sure my decibel level alerted the whole hospital I was giving birth. The room was full of nurses and doctors, all of whom seemed to be giving different advice. “Push when you feel like it.” “Don’t push.” “Take deep breaths.” “Hold your breath and push.” But, my favorite was the sympathetic doctor closest to me who kept telling me, “Don’t yell. Just say haaaaa.” At one point, I retorted something about how much pain I was in and that I would yell if I wanted to, and she (being, I think, the only other mother in the room) whispered in my ear, “Oh, I know. I thought I was going to die too,” and then standing back up, she said a little louder, “But just say ‘haaaa….’”

It was at that point my sweet, amazing husband whispered in my other ear, “You just do whatever the heck you want to. He’s almost here.”

And out he came, just two hours after arriving at the hospital.

What I didn’t realize until much later was that most of the medical staff in the room was present for Luke, not for me. I heard a feeble cry after the cord was unwrapped from his neck, but only caught a glimpse of a head of black hair as they took him over to intubate him and whisk him off to the NICU.

I expected to spend the next few days in the hospital holding my newborn baby, but instead was sitting alone in silence 20 minutes after he was born. Not having Luke with us in the hospital gave me quite a bit of silence to read and pray and think, and I spent a lot of time drawing near to God through reading Psalms.

Some things I am remembering in these days:
God is in control.
For I know that the LORD is great,
and that our Lord is above all gods.
Whatever the LORD pleases, he does,
in heaven and on earth,
in the seas and all deeps.
Psalm 135:5-6

In both the good and the bad, God is never backed into a corner or wondering what might happen. I don’t understand how this works in the hard times, but I trust that it is true. It brings me great comfort to know that he is firmly holding everything in place.

God is near to Luke when I can’t be.
A mother has a natural instinct to hold and feed and rock and love her baby. It is really disconnecting and strange to not even have held someone I carried inside for 9 months. I want to be the comforter for him, but right now I can’t do much.

Yet you are he who took me from the womb;
you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.
On you was I cast from my birth,
and from my mother’s womb you have been my God. 
Be not far from me,
for trouble is near,
and there is no one to help.
Psalm 22: 9-11

I have prayed this for Luke many times and am remembering that ultimately it isn’t me who is his hope anyway. God is near to him and able to help. He is Luke’s giver and sustainer of life.

God delights to help his children.
Sometimes I am afraid to say, “God, heal Luke” instead of saying, “God, I want you to heal Luke, but I trust you even if you don’t.” It’s not that I don’t believe he can. I do absolutely. But I also recoil at a faith that only trusts God’s hand in the good times. As I’ve read through Psalms, however, I am really challenged by the brazen prayers to God for help in the midst of trouble. He delights to come to the aid of those in need. So, I am asking boldly for him to heal and restore Luke’s body. He doesn’t owe us anything, but he does tell us to ask. And, again and again, he shows his power by rescuing those who are his.

His peace really is beyond understanding.
Above all, my heart has felt true peace since Luke was born. I am grateful for the promise of Philippians 4:6 and his faithfulness in fulfilling it in what could be an incredibly anxious time.

Thanks for standing with us in prayer. It has buoyed us more than you know.

Jerry accompanied Luke while they stabilized him, and I was able to go to the nursery to meet him a few hours later…

I want so badly to pick him up and hold him close, but for now, we can only see him twice a day for 20 minutes.

Luke’s doctors and nurses have been fantastic, and he is making gradual progress each time we see him.

He was intubated for the first 24 hours, but when we saw him today, his breathing tube had been removed. Hopefully tomorrow, he will be able to start taking some water, and then milk. We aren’t sure exactly how long he’ll stay, but they say 10-14 days is likely.

It has been encouraging to hear from so many of you all over the world who are praying for Luke and for us. We certainly continue to covet your prayers for continued growth and health.

100 Days of Luke is live, and we look forward to posting new photo each day for the first 100 days of his life. We’ll blog more updates as we have them!

Merry Christmas from Jerry, Sarah, Jack & Luke!

This Christmas season, Jerry and I have developed a habit of saying, “Oh, there is that ______ I bought you for Christmas” whenever we see something we find hilarious. Sometimes the selection is just bad, but sometimes it is just funny to picture Jerry wearing plaid-cuffed skinny jeans and leather ankle boots (I’m not always a hater…many Asian men somehow pull it off). So, without further ado, here is what I bought you for Christmas…

Childbirth is messy and painful. No way was Mary wearing her clean blue dress with hair perfectly in place, standing comfortably over sleeping Jesus. It was noisy, unpredictable, bloody, painful. I’d love to see just one church Christmas pageant that does away with the serene scene. I appreciate the song Labor of Love on Peterson’s Christmas album for embracing the reality that “It was not a silent night. There was blood on the ground. You could hear a woman cry on the alleyway that night on the streets of David’s town…”

Isn’t it wonderful that even in his entrance into the world, Jesus was not immune from the effects of sin? While he himself was perfect in every way, his mother labored to bring him in the same way all women do under the painful curse of Genesis 3. His ability to sympathize with us as the great high priest (Hebrews 4:14-16) started in a humble stable. His being born in the likeness of sinful man (Philippians 2:7) began in a drafty barn next to stinky animals.

He didn’t just come, but he came near. Glory! I draw such practical hope from the gospel in this profound truth. He is near, and he is coming again to make all things new.