Welcome Home

27 Jan

Luke came home today! When he was born the doctor told us to expect a 10 to 14 day hospital stay, so we were thrilled when his nurse told us yesterday that he was ready to come home at eight days. Jerry and I got to hold him for the first time last night during out 6pm visit, and today we returned to bring him home.

Needless to say, we are thrilled and so grateful for this sweet gift.

Here’s Jack meeting Luke and checking him out…

Getting in lots of snuggle time with Grann and Papa…

Luke LOVES to sleep (no complaints here)…

Slow and Steady

25 Jan

We continue to be thankful that each time we see Luke, he is making steady improvements. The doctor told us that he hopes he will be able to come home at the end of this week or beginning of next. He is now breathing on his own (no more hood) and eating from a bottle (no more tubes). Yesterday when we saw him, Jerry and I looked at each other and said, “Man, he looks good!”

I think today more than any day, I’ve struggled with the longing to just hold him and be the one who is taking care of him. Seeing him come out of the incubator and getting to hold him is the milestone I am longing for most. The stronger he gets, the more frustrated I get that things still aren’t 100% yet. Still, I know that his progress is laced with blessing and that we have a zillion reasons to give thanks.

One of the head nurses was back from vacation today and heard through the grapevine that my parents were in town from the States. She graciously told me that she’d let them come visit Luke for 5 minutes after visiting hours so they could have a chance to meet him (a big deal, as they are really strict about limiting visitors in the NICU). It was their first glimpse of Luke. Those few minutes were a precious gift!

Update on Luke

22 Jan

As of yesterday, Sarah is home from the hospital, so each day at noon and six we take the short ride over to the hospital to see Luke in the NICU. Each time we see him, he is making steady progress in a positive direction, and we are grateful. He is breathing on his own, although he still has a little hood over him giving him extra oxygen (I call it his space helmet). They fed him some formula today though his stomach tube, and he looked more comfortable than we had seen him thus far.

The doctors are still watching a few things closely and running various tests to figure out how to best help Luke thrive and get better.

We are grateful for so many ways that God has shown us his faithfulness and care during these days. My (Sarah) parents are here, which has been a huge help with Jack as we have been spending lots of time at the hospital. Right now, only Jerry and I can visit Luke, so we look forward to the day when we can bring him home and everyone can meet him. Thanks for your continued prayers for Luke and for us.

What My Heart is Feeling

22 Jan

The only thing predictable about giving birth to a baby is its unpredictability. When Jack was born, things were fairly normal, but being in another country, I really didn’t know what to expect. We definitely are experiencing the unexpected.

The actual birth itself went fairly quickly, for which I am thankful. I never thought of myself as the screaming type, but I’m pretty sure my decibel level alerted the whole hospital I was giving birth. The room was full of nurses and doctors, all of whom seemed to be giving different advice. “Push when you feel like it.” “Don’t push.” “Take deep breaths.” “Hold your breath and push.” But, my favorite was the sympathetic doctor closest to me who kept telling me, “Don’t yell. Just say haaaaa.” At one point, I retorted something about how much pain I was in and that I would yell if I wanted to, and she (being, I think, the only other mother in the room) whispered in my ear, “Oh, I know. I thought I was going to die too,” and then standing back up, she said a little louder, “But just say ‘haaaa….’”

It was at that point my sweet, amazing husband whispered in my other ear, “You just do whatever the heck you want to. He’s almost here.”

And out he came, just two hours after arriving at the hospital.

What I didn’t realize until much later was that most of the medical staff in the room was present for Luke, not for me. I heard a feeble cry after the cord was unwrapped from his neck, but only caught a glimpse of a head of black hair as they took him over to intubate him and whisk him off to the NICU.

I expected to spend the next few days in the hospital holding my newborn baby, but instead was sitting alone in silence 20 minutes after he was born. Not having Luke with us in the hospital gave me quite a bit of silence to read and pray and think, and I spent a lot of time drawing near to God through reading Psalms.

Some things I am remembering in these days:
God is in control.
For I know that the LORD is great,
and that our Lord is above all gods.
Whatever the LORD pleases, he does,
in heaven and on earth,
in the seas and all deeps.
Psalm 135:5-6

In both the good and the bad, God is never backed into a corner or wondering what might happen. I don’t understand how this works in the hard times, but I trust that it is true. It brings me great comfort to know that he is firmly holding everything in place.

God is near to Luke when I can’t be.
A mother has a natural instinct to hold and feed and rock and love her baby. It is really disconnecting and strange to not even have held someone I carried inside for 9 months. I want to be the comforter for him, but right now I can’t do much.

Yet you are he who took me from the womb;
you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.
On you was I cast from my birth,
and from my mother’s womb you have been my God. 
Be not far from me,
for trouble is near,
and there is no one to help.
Psalm 22: 9-11

I have prayed this for Luke many times and am remembering that ultimately it isn’t me who is his hope anyway. God is near to him and able to help. He is Luke’s giver and sustainer of life.

God delights to help his children.
Sometimes I am afraid to say, “God, heal Luke” instead of saying, “God, I want you to heal Luke, but I trust you even if you don’t.” It’s not that I don’t believe he can. I do absolutely. But I also recoil at a faith that only trusts God’s hand in the good times. As I’ve read through Psalms, however, I am really challenged by the brazen prayers to God for help in the midst of trouble. He delights to come to the aid of those in need. So, I am asking boldly for him to heal and restore Luke’s body. He doesn’t owe us anything, but he does tell us to ask. And, again and again, he shows his power by rescuing those who are his.

His peace really is beyond understanding.
Above all, my heart has felt true peace since Luke was born. I am grateful for the promise of Philippians 4:6 and his faithfulness in fulfilling it in what could be an incredibly anxious time.

Thanks for standing with us in prayer. It has buoyed us more than you know.

And then there were four…

20 Jan

We are thrilled to announce the arrival of Luke James! At 6 pounds, 3 ounces, he made his entrance at 10:03 am Thursday morning after a quick labor. Because he inhaled some meconium in the womb, the doctors and nurses whisked him away as soon as he came out, and he is spending his first few days in the NICU.

Jerry accompanied Luke while they stabilized him, and I was able to go to the nursery to meet him a few hours later…

I want so badly to pick him up and hold him close, but for now, we can only see him twice a day for 20 minutes.

Luke’s doctors and nurses have been fantastic, and he is making gradual progress each time we see him.

He was intubated for the first 24 hours, but when we saw him today, his breathing tube had been removed. Hopefully tomorrow, he will be able to start taking some water, and then milk. We aren’t sure exactly how long he’ll stay, but they say 10-14 days is likely.

It has been encouraging to hear from so many of you all over the world who are praying for Luke and for us. We certainly continue to covet your prayers for continued growth and health.

100 Days of Luke is live, and we look forward to posting new photo each day for the first 100 days of his life. We’ll blog more updates as we have them!

Merry Christmas!

26 Dec

Merry Christmas from Jerry, Sarah, Jack & Luke!

What I got you for Christmas

26 Dec

I recently learned the term “fashion terrorist” in language class. It might be my favorite local phrase to describe someone who has, shall we say, interesting taste in clothing.

This Christmas season, Jerry and I have developed a habit of saying, “Oh, there is that ______ I bought you for Christmas” whenever we see something we find hilarious. Sometimes the selection is just bad, but sometimes it is just funny to picture Jerry wearing plaid-cuffed skinny jeans and leather ankle boots (I’m not always a hater…many Asian men somehow pull it off). So, without further ado, here is what I bought you for Christmas…

Coming Soon: 100 Days, part 2

18 Dec

With less than one month until my due date, I’m trying to cross a few things off my “prepare for baby” list. One of those things is the unveiling of the next installment of 100 Days, and with this comes the unveiling of his name: Luke James. Whenever Luke decides to make his entrance into the world, stay tuned to 100 Days of Luke for a day-by-day photo essay of the first 100 days of his life.

Not a Silent Night

17 Dec

I have less than a month until my due date, so I am thinking much about childbirth these days. Behind my computer screen, I can see the advent scene we are building day by day with Jack as we tell the Christmas story. All the smiling animals are surrounding the neatly arranged hay, and Joseph and Mary are standing in the middle smiling serenely. And while these characters were certainly present in the actual event, I can’t help but think how radically different the birth of Jesus probably looked.

Childbirth is messy and painful. No way was Mary wearing her clean blue dress with hair perfectly in place, standing comfortably over sleeping Jesus. It was noisy, unpredictable, bloody, painful. I’d love to see just one church Christmas pageant that does away with the serene scene. I appreciate the song Labor of Love on Peterson’s Christmas album for embracing the reality that “It was not a silent night. There was blood on the ground. You could hear a woman cry on the alleyway that night on the streets of David’s town…

Isn’t it wonderful that even in his entrance into the world, Jesus was not immune from the effects of sin? While he himself was perfect in every way, his mother labored to bring him in the same way all women do under the painful curse of Genesis 3. His ability to sympathize with us as the great high priest (Hebrews 4:14-16) started in a humble stable. His being born in the likeness of sinful man (Philippians 2:7) began in a drafty barn next to stinky animals.

He didn’t just come, but he came near. Glory! I draw such practical hope from the gospel in this profound truth. He is near, and he is coming again to make all things new.

He did it again…

5 Dec

Jerry ran his second half marathon this weekend, and finished in 2:06. If he were telling this story, he’d tell you he ran horribly and didn’t do well. But he’s not. I am. He did awesome and finished 4 minutes faster than he did a few weeks ago, despite cold temperatures and an afternoon start. Way to go, Jerry!